Monkisms : Mr. Monk Gets Married

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Gets Married:

It's unholy matrimony as Monk and Sharona pretend to be married to get the goods on a con man.

Sharona: Maybe he just loves her. (Randy hands a picture of Maria to Monk)
Monk: Uh! (pause) Is she rich?
Randy: No. That's the thing. She doesn't have a nickel. I send her some money every month, which she spends on bingo and paintings of Jesus.

Monk: (to Sharona, inside the mine) You know who I miss? The coyote.

Dr. Waterford: I believe in Adrian and Sharona.
Sharona: Thanks a lot. Uh, but you should know. We're not really married.
Dr. Waterford: Oh, thank God! Good! Keep it that way.
Monk: Okay, we will. No problem there.

Sharona: Sit down.
Monk: You stand up.
Sharona: You sit down!
Monk: You stand up!
Sharona: Adrian, sit down!
Monk: All right, all right, how about this? How about we both just squat?

Sharona: Here, sit down.
Monk: No way.
Sharona: It's a bench. I mean, I can understand you not wanting to sit down on the ground, but I've seen you sit on a bench before.
Monk: No, no, no, not this one. Yesterday, when we arrived, there was a bird on it.

Monk: (leaving the closet) What day is it?
Sharona: We were only in there for five minutes.
Monk: I don't think so!

Monk: (as he and the group are herded into a closet) This weekend just will not end.

Sharona: Why don't we just tell Maria what we know?
Monk: She won't believe us. Not without proof. Why would she? I'm a--I'm a cowardly mop salesman and you're my crazy alcoholic wife who attacked her husband for no reason.

Sharona: We're never going to get away with this! They're never going to believe we're really married.
Monk: We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time. Why wouldn't they believe it?

Monk: (answering cell phone) Hello? Can't talk now. I'm trapped in a cave.

Sharona: Oh my God, you're in a cave! I'm so proud of you.
Monk: Thank you. Let's get out of here.

Sharona: You have to sit. This is a picnic.
Monk: I don't sit on the ground. Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things.

Maria: Adrian Monk? Do you know my son, Randy Disher?
Monk: No, no. Does he sell cleaning supplies? That's what I do.

Monk: (talking to Dalton about a map) No it's not. There was no West Virginia until after the civil war, unless I'm wrong, which I'm not.

Monk: It's this shelf. I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room.
Sharona: Well, when you turn off the light, you won't see it.
Monk: I wish you could hear yourself sometimes. You live in a dream world.

Monk: I don't know how to not worry.

Sharona: We're mature spelunkers.
Monk: We love it. Spelunking. We were spelunking around.

Sharona: What happened to the old machine?
Monk: I spilled some coffee on it.
Sharona: And it broke?
Monk: No.

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Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1128	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Gets Married: It's unholy matrimony as Monk and Sharona pretend to be married to get the goods on a con man. Sharona: Maybe he just loves her. (Randy hands a picture of Maria to Monk) Monk: Uh! (pause) Is she rich? Randy: No. That's the thing. She doesn't have a nickel. I send her some money every month, which she spends on bingo and paintings of Jesus. Monk: (to Sharona, inside the mine) You know who I miss? The coyote. Dr. Waterford: I believe in Adrian and Sharona. Sharona: Thanks a lot. Uh, but you should know. We're not really married. Dr. Waterford: Oh, thank God! Good! Keep it that way. Monk: Okay, we will. No problem there. Sharona: Sit down. Monk: You stand up. Sharona: You sit down! Monk: You stand up! Sharona: Adrian, sit down! Monk: All right, all right, how about this? How about we both just squat? Sharona: Here, sit down. Monk: No way. Sharona: It's a bench. I mean, I can understand you not wanting to sit down on the ground, but I've seen you sit on a bench before. Monk: No, no, no, not this one. Yesterday, when we arrived, there was a bird on it. Monk: (leaving the closet) What day is it? Sharona: We were only in there for five minutes. Monk: I don't think so! Monk: (as he and the group are herded into a closet) This weekend just will not end. Sharona: Why don't we just tell Maria what we know? Monk: She won't believe us. Not without proof. Why would she? I'm a--I'm a cowardly mop salesman and you're my crazy alcoholic wife who attacked her husband for no reason. Sharona: We're never going to get away with this! They're never going to believe we're really married. Monk: We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time. Why wouldn't they believe it? Monk: (answering cell phone) Hello? Can't talk now. I'm trapped in a cave. Sharona: Oh my God, you're in a cave! I'm so proud of you. Monk: Thank you. Let's get out of here. Sharona: You have to sit. This is a picnic. Monk: I don't sit on the ground. Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things. Maria: Adrian Monk? Do you know my son, Randy Disher? Monk: No, no. Does he sell cleaning supplies? That's what I do. Monk: (talking to Dalton about a map) No it's not. There was no West Virginia until after the civil war, unless I'm wrong, which I'm not. Monk: It's this shelf. I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room. Sharona: Well, when you turn off the light, you won't see it. Monk: I wish you could hear yourself sometimes. You live in a dream world. Monk: I don't know how to not worry. Sharona: We're mature spelunkers. Monk: We love it. Spelunking. We were spelunking around. Sharona: What happened to the old machine? Monk: I spilled some coffee on it. Sharona: And it broke? Monk: No. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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