Monkisms : Mr. Monk Goes Back to School

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Goes Back to School:

Monk takes a job as a substitute high school teacher to determine whether a teacher's fall from a clock tower was really a suicide, or a lesson in murder.

Monk: Great work everybody. (cough) For tomorrow, read chapters one and...uhhh...ch...one...aw read whatever the hell you want! (cough cough cough)

Monk: Can I ask you something?
Derek: Apparently there's no stopping you.

Derek Philby: You ever take the SATs?
Monk: No. They gave me a... different test.

Monk: Is that ethical?
Sharona: Do you care?
Monk: No. I thought I should ask because the kid is here.

Monk: You can't lick the queen... There's an unwritten rule that says you can't lick the queen.
Sharona: You've been touching pieces left and right. You've been sexually harassing every piece on the board.

Monk: (centering chess pieces) Hold on. You'll thank me later.
Sharona: You always say that. Have I ever once thanked you later?
Monk: No.

Sharona: You noticed a little indentation?
Monk: It's a gift... and a curse.

Monk: QED. Quod erat demonstrandum. Thus it is proved.

Monk: I think the snake did it.

Monk: He thinks I can't hide.
Sharona: He doesn't know who he's dealing with. Nobody hides like you do.

Monk: (after being hit by a chalkboard eraser) Chalk dust. Go to the nurse. Can't breathe.

Monk: (looking at an old photo of Trudy) There's my girl.
Sharona: She looked happy.
Monk: She was happy. She hadn't met me yet.

Derek Philby: You're mixing the regular with the decaf.
Monk: But they're even.
Derek: But they're mixed together.
Monk: But they're even.
Derek: But they're mixed together.
Monk: But they're even. (Changes the subject.)

Monk: This is Sharona Fleming, my assistant.
Sharona: Colleague.
Monk: Assistant slash colleague.
Sharona: Colleague slash assistant.

Sharona: You just going to run?
Monk: Certainly. Care to join me?

Monk: Wait a minute. This is a handicapped space.
Sharona: I think we qualify.

Stottlemeyer: I imagine this is your worst nightmare; a crime scene on a roof.
Monk: No, it isn't. It's my fourth worst. No, fifth. (Pause) I don't have my list with me.

Lunch Lady: Mixed vegetables or mac and cheese?
Sharona: Can I have both?
Monk: Can I have neither?

Sharona: (in a high school cafeteria) Brings back memories, huh?
Monk: Yeah. Mostly bad ones (stares at the trays). From this angle that looks a little bit like food.

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Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1128	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Goes Back to School: Monk takes a job as a substitute high school teacher to determine whether a teacher's fall from a clock tower was really a suicide, or a lesson in murder. Monk: Great work everybody. (cough) For tomorrow, read chapters one and...uhhh...ch...one...aw read whatever the hell you want! (cough cough cough) Monk: Can I ask you something? Derek: Apparently there's no stopping you. Derek Philby: You ever take the SATs? Monk: No. They gave me a... different test. Monk: Is that ethical? Sharona: Do you care? Monk: No. I thought I should ask because the kid is here. Monk: You can't lick the queen... There's an unwritten rule that says you can't lick the queen. Sharona: You've been touching pieces left and right. You've been sexually harassing every piece on the board. Monk: (centering chess pieces) Hold on. You'll thank me later. Sharona: You always say that. Have I ever once thanked you later? Monk: No. Sharona: You noticed a little indentation? Monk: It's a gift... and a curse. Monk: QED. Quod erat demonstrandum. Thus it is proved. Monk: I think the snake did it. Monk: He thinks I can't hide. Sharona: He doesn't know who he's dealing with. Nobody hides like you do. Monk: (after being hit by a chalkboard eraser) Chalk dust. Go to the nurse. Can't breathe. Monk: (looking at an old photo of Trudy) There's my girl. Sharona: She looked happy. Monk: She was happy. She hadn't met me yet. Derek Philby: You're mixing the regular with the decaf. Monk: But they're even. Derek: But they're mixed together. Monk: But they're even. Derek: But they're mixed together. Monk: But they're even. (Changes the subject.) Monk: This is Sharona Fleming, my assistant. Sharona: Colleague. Monk: Assistant slash colleague. Sharona: Colleague slash assistant. Sharona: You just going to run? Monk: Certainly. Care to join me? Monk: Wait a minute. This is a handicapped space. Sharona: I think we qualify. Stottlemeyer: I imagine this is your worst nightmare; a crime scene on a roof. Monk: No, it isn't. It's my fourth worst. No, fifth. (Pause) I don't have my list with me. Lunch Lady: Mixed vegetables or mac and cheese? Sharona: Can I have both? Monk: Can I have neither? Sharona: (in a high school cafeteria) Brings back memories, huh? Monk: Yeah. Mostly bad ones (stares at the trays). From this angle that looks a little bit like food. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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