Monkisms : Mr. Monk and the Paperboy

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Paperboy:

When his paperboy, Nestor Alverez, is murdered on his front doorstep by a newspaper thief, Monk searches the newspaper for clues, all the while assuming that the murderer is really after him.

Stop 'n Go Clerk: How 'bout a lottery ticket?
Sharona: Oh no. You just had a big winner. I never buy a ticket unless the jackpot's more than 10 million dollars.
Monk: (pretending to laugh) Yeah, 10 million dollars. I don't know how they can even call that a jackpot.

Stop 'n Go Clerk: How you folks doin'?
Monk: You really wanna know?
Stop 'n Go Clerk: shrugs No.

Monk: People used to say Trudy was way out of my league.
Sharona: You think they were right?
Monk: Oh, of course they were.

Dr. Kroger: Adrian, we can talk about your sex life with Trudy or we can sing show tunes until this session is over. It's your choice. (Pause)
Monk: (singing) "If ever I would leave you... "

Kevin: Hi, everybody. Who's winning?
Monk, Sharona, and Benjy: I am!

Clerk: How are you guys today?
Monk: Do you really want to know?
Clerk: No.

Stottlemeyer: Did you hear anything?
Monk: What time was that?
Stottlemeyer: Five thirty.
Monk: (Nods, then shakes his head) Oh, no. I wouldn't have heard a thing.
Stottlemeyer: Sleeping?
Monk: Nah. I was vacuuming.

Monk: Excuse me. Don't touch that!
Young Detective: Who are you talking to?
Monk: Everyone.

Monk: Hurry up! But not too fast. But hurry up. But not too fast.

Sharona: It's a woman. There's lipstick on the bottle.
Monk: How did I miss that?
Stottlemeyer: (to Monk) She's stronger and smarter than you.

Monk: What are you doing?
Cop: Wiping my feet.
Monk: On a mat?

Monk: If something spills, I want to be here.
Sharona: Adrian, trust me. If something spills, you don't want to be here.
Monk: That's a good point.

Monk: What if I go nuts?
Sharona: What if you went nuts? Oh, boy. I'm going to have to use my imagination on that one.

Monk: I cleaned last night.
Disher: Did you sleep at all?
Stottlemeyer: He can sleep when he cleans. I've seen it.

Dr. Kroger: Do you have to be the man?
Monk: I don't have to be the man. I just have to be... mannish.

Monk: Why do you say that? Why do you torture me?
Sharona: Because I can.

Older Detective: Excuse me. Where's the bathroom?
Monk: I--I don't have one.
Older Detective: You don't have a bathroom?
Monk: Don't get me started--I am still so angry with that architect.

Sharona: You're feeling pretty good about yourself.
Monk: I'm allowed--once a decade.

Monk: (to Sharona) You think you can take me?
Sharona: Why would I want to take you?

Monk: Can I go home now?
Sharona: You are home.

Dr. Kroger: It's something we've never talked about; your physical relationship with your late wife.
Monk: I consider that a personal question.
Dr. Kroger: Yes, it is. That's what I do.

Notice something that's missing from this episode?
Add It

Is there an error that we overlooked?
Suggest a Correction


Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1140	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Paperboy: When his paperboy, Nestor Alverez, is murdered on his front doorstep by a newspaper thief, Monk searches the newspaper for clues, all the while assuming that the murderer is really after him. Stop 'n Go Clerk: How 'bout a lottery ticket? Sharona: Oh no. You just had a big winner. I never buy a ticket unless the jackpot's more than 10 million dollars. Monk: (pretending to laugh) Yeah, 10 million dollars. I don't know how they can even call that a jackpot. Stop 'n Go Clerk: How you folks doin'? Monk: You really wanna know? Stop 'n Go Clerk: shrugs No. Monk: People used to say Trudy was way out of my league. Sharona: You think they were right? Monk: Oh, of course they were. Dr. Kroger: Adrian, we can talk about your sex life with Trudy or we can sing show tunes until this session is over. It's your choice. (Pause) Monk: (singing) "If ever I would leave you... " Kevin: Hi, everybody. Who's winning? Monk, Sharona, and Benjy: I am! Clerk: How are you guys today? Monk: Do you really want to know? Clerk: No. Stottlemeyer: Did you hear anything? Monk: What time was that? Stottlemeyer: Five thirty. Monk: (Nods, then shakes his head) Oh, no. I wouldn't have heard a thing. Stottlemeyer: Sleeping? Monk: Nah. I was vacuuming. Monk: Excuse me. Don't touch that! Young Detective: Who are you talking to? Monk: Everyone. Monk: Hurry up! But not too fast. But hurry up. But not too fast. Sharona: It's a woman. There's lipstick on the bottle. Monk: How did I miss that? Stottlemeyer: (to Monk) She's stronger and smarter than you. Monk: What are you doing? Cop: Wiping my feet. Monk: On a mat? Monk: If something spills, I want to be here. Sharona: Adrian, trust me. If something spills, you don't want to be here. Monk: That's a good point. Monk: What if I go nuts? Sharona: What if you went nuts? Oh, boy. I'm going to have to use my imagination on that one. Monk: I cleaned last night. Disher: Did you sleep at all? Stottlemeyer: He can sleep when he cleans. I've seen it. Dr. Kroger: Do you have to be the man? Monk: I don't have to be the man. I just have to be... mannish. Monk: Why do you say that? Why do you torture me? Sharona: Because I can. Older Detective: Excuse me. Where's the bathroom? Monk: I--I don't have one. Older Detective: You don't have a bathroom? Monk: Don't get me started--I am still so angry with that architect. Sharona: You're feeling pretty good about yourself. Monk: I'm allowed--once a decade. Monk: (to Sharona) You think you can take me? Sharona: Why would I want to take you? Monk: Can I go home now? Sharona: You are home. Dr. Kroger: It's something we've never talked about; your physical relationship with your late wife. Monk: I consider that a personal question. Dr. Kroger: Yes, it is. That's what I do. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
©Copyright 2010, Two Lab Mice, Inc.