Monkisms : Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage:

Monk tries to solve a murder while helping Captain Stottlemeyer deal with marital problems.

Monk: This is not an appliance store.
Stottlemeyer: Uh, yeah. I know.
Monk: You said it was an appliance store.
Stottlemeyer: I'm sorry. I lied. But if I'd told you it was a junkyard, it would have taken me five hours to get you down here.

Stottlemeyer: I said I'm sorry, I think, twice. How many times do I need to apologize?
Monk: Six.
Natalie: Six.
Stottlemeyer: Sorry, sorry, sorry! Can we do this?

Monk: Uh oh.
Stottlemeyer: What's up?
Monk: Oh. That car. One headlight's not broken. It's the only one that's not broken. (Stottlemeyer shoots the headlight.) Thanks.

Little Girl: I think I'm sick.
Monk: Save yourselves! She's going to blow! It's going to get ugly!

Stottlemeyer: How many times have I asked you for a favor?
Monk: One hundred and three. Counting this, one hundred and four.
Stottlemeyer: How many time have I said "please"?

Monk: (looking into the lenses of a pair of sunglasses) Yeah. See? Reflective surfaces. Wait. Wait. I lost her. Where'd she go?
Natalie: Would this be considered a reflective surface?
Monk: Yeah, well, mirrors. Mirrors are good, too.

Natalie: How long have they been married?
Monk: Forever. Karen and Leland. And they've never had a thing in common. I remember this one weekend he went hunting. She stayed home and organized a rally for stronger gun control.

Monk: You can't just leave her like this.
Natalie: It's a manikin!
Monk: Why do you say things like that?

Monk: Ten dollars and three cents. That's how much is in there.
Natalie: Okay. Thank you. Now we know.
Monk: I think we should make it even.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Monk: The fountain. We take out three cents and it'll be ten dollars. That's a nice round number. Ten dollars. Then everyone will be happier.
Natalie: You always say that. Who is everyone?
Monk: Me. (Pause.) Me.

Natalie: If we walk now, you won't even think about the fountain.
Monk: I'll think about it. It would haunt me.
Natalie: For three extra pennies, it would haunt you?
Monk: (whispers) It would haunt me.

Natalie: It might be the captain calling.
Monk: Don't answer!
Natalie: We can't keep him waiting forever.
Monk: We've got to try.

Disher: Monk, questions?
Monk: Yes. Mr. Vingold, Gerald. Do you have any idea when you'll be finished chewing on that piece of meat?

Monk: Natalie, don't touch him [Devo]! Later on, when we have time, I'll tell you a story about--the Black Plague.

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Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1133	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage: Monk tries to solve a murder while helping Captain Stottlemeyer deal with marital problems. Monk: This is not an appliance store. Stottlemeyer: Uh, yeah. I know. Monk: You said it was an appliance store. Stottlemeyer: I'm sorry. I lied. But if I'd told you it was a junkyard, it would have taken me five hours to get you down here. Stottlemeyer: I said I'm sorry, I think, twice. How many times do I need to apologize? Monk: Six. Natalie: Six. Stottlemeyer: Sorry, sorry, sorry! Can we do this? Monk: Uh oh. Stottlemeyer: What's up? Monk: Oh. That car. One headlight's not broken. It's the only one that's not broken. (Stottlemeyer shoots the headlight.) Thanks. Little Girl: I think I'm sick. Monk: Save yourselves! She's going to blow! It's going to get ugly! Stottlemeyer: How many times have I asked you for a favor? Monk: One hundred and three. Counting this, one hundred and four. Stottlemeyer: How many time have I said "please"? Monk: (looking into the lenses of a pair of sunglasses) Yeah. See? Reflective surfaces. Wait. Wait. I lost her. Where'd she go? Natalie: Would this be considered a reflective surface? Monk: Yeah, well, mirrors. Mirrors are good, too. Natalie: How long have they been married? Monk: Forever. Karen and Leland. And they've never had a thing in common. I remember this one weekend he went hunting. She stayed home and organized a rally for stronger gun control. Monk: You can't just leave her like this. Natalie: It's a manikin! Monk: Why do you say things like that? Monk: Ten dollars and three cents. That's how much is in there. Natalie: Okay. Thank you. Now we know. Monk: I think we should make it even. Natalie: What are you talking about? Monk: The fountain. We take out three cents and it'll be ten dollars. That's a nice round number. Ten dollars. Then everyone will be happier. Natalie: You always say that. Who is everyone? Monk: Me. (Pause.) Me. Natalie: If we walk now, you won't even think about the fountain. Monk: I'll think about it. It would haunt me. Natalie: For three extra pennies, it would haunt you? Monk: (whispers) It would haunt me. Natalie: It might be the captain calling. Monk: Don't answer! Natalie: We can't keep him waiting forever. Monk: We've got to try. Disher: Monk, questions? Monk: Yes. Mr. Vingold, Gerald. Do you have any idea when you'll be finished chewing on that piece of meat? Monk: Natalie, don't touch him [Devo]! Later on, when we have time, I'll tell you a story about--the Black Plague. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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