Monkisms : Mr. Monk Bumps His Head

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Bumps His Head:

When Monk wakes up in an unfamiliar town with amnesia, can he solve a local murder mystery and find his way home?

Monk: (while covered in bees in a beekeeper suit, to a nearby policeman) Excuse me, is your gun loaded?
Policeman: Yeah.
Monk: Could you do me a favor? Just...kill me.
Sheriff: Why didn't you just stay in the car?
Monk: There's a bee in the car!

Truck Driver: Does this look like a Greyhound bus to you?
Monk: No. Buses have seats... and windows.
Truck Driver: It was a rhetorical question.

Truck Driver: What are you doing?
Monk: (referring to a five-dollar bill) Smoothing it out.
Truck Driver: Why?
Monk: I don't know.

Roger Zisk: Don't ponce my ride! (Monk continues to adjust Roger's side-view mirror) What are you doing?
Monk: It's just... it's not quite straight.
Roger: What part of "Don't ponce my ride" don't you understand?
Monk: Ah, " ponce." (pause) Most of... all of it, really.

Sheriff Bates: How'd that happen?
Cora: I'll tell you how it happened.
Sheriff Bates: Cora?
Cora: A can of paint fell on his head and he about fell overboard.
Monk: Overboard?
Sheriff Bates: How do you know this, Cora?
Cora: Because I was there. It was in Naples. Italy. He was on a cruise.
Sheriff Bates: So you know this man?
Cora: Yes, I know the man. Of course I know the man. He's my husband.

Monk: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that you were a blonde.
Cora: A blonde?
Monk: And you looked pretty--different. Pretty different...

Monk: Where are my clothes?
Cora: You lost 'em. You lost everything. Gambling.
Monk: I gamble.

Cora: Now what?
Monk: Uh, I'm--I'm afraid.
Cora: You're up two feet, Jerry! You can do this. That's why you became a roofer, to get over your fear of heights. And it worked.

Monk: A pregnancy test.
Cora: Looks like she had a bun in the oven.
Monk: How do you know?
Cora: Those two little lines there. That means positive. See, you pee on this end.
Monk: (dropping the pregnancy test) Aaahhh! Wipe! Wipe! Wipe!

Monk: I don't want to tell you what these bags smell like.
Sheriff Bates: Well,that's exactly what they are. That's fertilizer.
Monk: Oh, my God. My God. This is worse than drug trafficking. You gotta nail this guy.

Monk: He's the guy. Let's call the captain.
Sheriff Bates: What captain?
Monk: I don't know.

Monk: The truth is, I'm not so attracted to you.
Cora: Whatever.
Monk: The truth is, you sort of terrify me.
Cora: Hey! There's no such thing as a perfect marriage.

Monk: Here's what I think, uh, uh...
Sheriff Bates: Happened?

Monk: What's my name?
Stottlemeyer: Adrian.
Monk: What's my name, really?
Stottlemeyer: Adrian.

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Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1140	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk Bumps His Head: When Monk wakes up in an unfamiliar town with amnesia, can he solve a local murder mystery and find his way home? Monk: (while covered in bees in a beekeeper suit, to a nearby policeman) Excuse me, is your gun loaded? Policeman: Yeah. Monk: Could you do me a favor? Just...kill me. Sheriff: Why didn't you just stay in the car? Monk: There's a bee in the car! Truck Driver: Does this look like a Greyhound bus to you? Monk: No. Buses have seats... and windows. Truck Driver: It was a rhetorical question. Truck Driver: What are you doing? Monk: (referring to a five-dollar bill) Smoothing it out. Truck Driver: Why? Monk: I don't know. Roger Zisk: Don't ponce my ride! (Monk continues to adjust Roger's side-view mirror) What are you doing? Monk: It's just... it's not quite straight. Roger: What part of "Don't ponce my ride" don't you understand? Monk: Ah, " ponce." (pause) Most of... all of it, really. Sheriff Bates: How'd that happen? Cora: I'll tell you how it happened. Sheriff Bates: Cora? Cora: A can of paint fell on his head and he about fell overboard. Monk: Overboard? Sheriff Bates: How do you know this, Cora? Cora: Because I was there. It was in Naples. Italy. He was on a cruise. Sheriff Bates: So you know this man? Cora: Yes, I know the man. Of course I know the man. He's my husband. Monk: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that you were a blonde. Cora: A blonde? Monk: And you looked pretty--different. Pretty different... Monk: Where are my clothes? Cora: You lost 'em. You lost everything. Gambling. Monk: I gamble. Cora: Now what? Monk: Uh, I'm--I'm afraid. Cora: You're up two feet, Jerry! You can do this. That's why you became a roofer, to get over your fear of heights. And it worked. Monk: A pregnancy test. Cora: Looks like she had a bun in the oven. Monk: How do you know? Cora: Those two little lines there. That means positive. See, you pee on this end. Monk: (dropping the pregnancy test) Aaahhh! Wipe! Wipe! Wipe! Monk: I don't want to tell you what these bags smell like. Sheriff Bates: Well,that's exactly what they are. That's fertilizer. Monk: Oh, my God. My God. This is worse than drug trafficking. You gotta nail this guy. Monk: He's the guy. Let's call the captain. Sheriff Bates: What captain? Monk: I don't know. Monk: The truth is, I'm not so attracted to you. Cora: Whatever. Monk: The truth is, you sort of terrify me. Cora: Hey! There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. Monk: Here's what I think, uh, uh... Sheriff Bates: Happened? Monk: What's my name? Stottlemeyer: Adrian. Monk: What's my name, really? Stottlemeyer: Adrian. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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