Monkisms : Mr. Monk and the Election

Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Election:

When Natalie runs for school board, Monk must figure out who's behind an attempt on her life.

Monk: And for the record, it wasn't me. You didn't lose by just one vote.
Natalie: Yeah, I know.
Monk: You lost by a lot more than one vote. It was close to a landslide.
Natalie: Yes, I know. Thank you, Mr. Monk.

Monk: [Dr.Kroger] would never give anyone his cell phone. Ever. Not ever.
Stottlemeyer: Monk, I really don't care.
Harold: I've been to his home.
Monk: Have you no shame?
Stottlemeyer: Excuse me--a man died today!
Harold: I've met his daughter.
Monk: Liar! Liar!

Monk: (to reporter) For me, there's only one angle here. If Natalie wins, who will take care of me?

Reporter: Why did you decide to volunteer?
Monk: I'm not a volunteer. I'm her boss.
Reporter: Ah. That's an interesting angle. Not every boss would allow his employee time off to run for office.
Monk: I didn't have a choice. She just said she was doing it.

Natalie: Do you have any money?
Monk: No.
Natalie: Do you ever have any money?

Natalie: All right. Let's go.
Monk: I haven't voted yet.
Natalie: What have you been doing?
Monk: I'm still signing in. Almost done.

Monk: I can't go. You're on your own. Natalie's waiting for me downstairs. I have to go vote.
Stottlemeyer: Well, that's good. You're doing your civic duty.
Monk: There's that. Also, if I don't vote, Natalie will--you know.
Stottlemeyer: I know.

Stottlemeyer: Don't you ever get tired of being right?
Monk: I do feel tired. More fatigued, really. I don't know if it's from being right--
Stottlemeyer: It was a rhetorical question, Monk.

Stottlemeyer: Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Monk: Oh. Yeah.
Stottlemeyer: And then he said you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you?
Monk: (Shrugs.)
Stottlemeyer: I'm going to ask the mayor to give you a medal for what you did, and then I'm going to ask the mayor to take that medal back because you just had to open that door.
Monk: It's a wash, isn't it?
Stottlemeyer: It's a wash.

Natalie: I used to love tetherball.
Monk: It wasn't really my game.
Natalie: What was your game, Mr. Monk?
Monk: Keepaway. I played a lot of keepaway.

Natalie: (watching children on the playground) Brings back memories, huh?
Monk: Yeah, but what are you gonna do?

Monk: I told you. He [Krenshaw] will drive you crazy.
Disher: So is he the guy?
Monk: No. I wish he was, but he's not the guy. He never would have misspelled Natalie's name on the note.
Stottlemeyer: How do you know?
Monk: Because--even I wouldn't have.

Monk: Captain. Captain! It's not me, is it? Am I him [Krenshaw]? Just tell me. Am I that guy? Am I--am I that far gone?
Stottlemeyer: Relax, Monk. You are completely different. You put the chocolate donuts in the middle, which makes perfect sense because that way the different groups are together.

Harold Krenshaw: (after the captain bites into a coconut donut) Now you have to eat a sugar one.
Stottlemeyer: Don't want a sugar one.
Monk: Then you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate.
Harold: Or two coconuts and two glazed.
Monk: Or he could just eat all of them. That would be easier.
Harold: That's a good idea.
Stottlemeyer: Or--I could do this. (Mashes the box, folds it up, and pokes a hole in the middle.) There. Now there's one donut.

Monk: It's keepaway. Natalie, Natalie, stop! You're just embarrassing yourself. I'm coming in.

Monk: There were fourteen shots.
Stottlemeyer: Are you sure? Well, of course you're sure. How did they come? Were they evenly spaced?
Monk: Bang. Bang bang. Bang. Bang bang bang bang. [etc.]

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Home Monkisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy Monk on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1128	Monkisms for episode Mr. Monk and the Election: When Natalie runs for school board, Monk must figure out who's behind an attempt on her life. Monk: And for the record, it wasn't me. You didn't lose by just one vote. Natalie: Yeah, I know. Monk: You lost by a lot more than one vote. It was close to a landslide. Natalie: Yes, I know. Thank you, Mr. Monk. Monk: [Dr.Kroger] would never give anyone his cell phone. Ever. Not ever. Stottlemeyer: Monk, I really don't care. Harold: I've been to his home. Monk: Have you no shame? Stottlemeyer: Excuse me--a man died today! Harold: I've met his daughter. Monk: Liar! Liar! Monk: (to reporter) For me, there's only one angle here. If Natalie wins, who will take care of me? Reporter: Why did you decide to volunteer? Monk: I'm not a volunteer. I'm her boss. Reporter: Ah. That's an interesting angle. Not every boss would allow his employee time off to run for office. Monk: I didn't have a choice. She just said she was doing it. Natalie: Do you have any money? Monk: No. Natalie: Do you ever have any money? Natalie: All right. Let's go. Monk: I haven't voted yet. Natalie: What have you been doing? Monk: I'm still signing in. Almost done. Monk: I can't go. You're on your own. Natalie's waiting for me downstairs. I have to go vote. Stottlemeyer: Well, that's good. You're doing your civic duty. Monk: There's that. Also, if I don't vote, Natalie will--you know. Stottlemeyer: I know. Stottlemeyer: Don't you ever get tired of being right? Monk: I do feel tired. More fatigued, really. I don't know if it's from being right-- Stottlemeyer: It was a rhetorical question, Monk. Stottlemeyer: Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator. Monk: Oh. Yeah. Stottlemeyer: And then he said you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you? Monk: (Shrugs.) Stottlemeyer: I'm going to ask the mayor to give you a medal for what you did, and then I'm going to ask the mayor to take that medal back because you just had to open that door. Monk: It's a wash, isn't it? Stottlemeyer: It's a wash. Natalie: I used to love tetherball. Monk: It wasn't really my game. Natalie: What was your game, Mr. Monk? Monk: Keepaway. I played a lot of keepaway. Natalie: (watching children on the playground) Brings back memories, huh? Monk: Yeah, but what are you gonna do? Monk: I told you. He [Krenshaw] will drive you crazy. Disher: So is he the guy? Monk: No. I wish he was, but he's not the guy. He never would have misspelled Natalie's name on the note. Stottlemeyer: How do you know? Monk: Because--even I wouldn't have. Monk: Captain. Captain! It's not me, is it? Am I him [Krenshaw]? Just tell me. Am I that guy? Am I--am I that far gone? Stottlemeyer: Relax, Monk. You are completely different. You put the chocolate donuts in the middle, which makes perfect sense because that way the different groups are together. Harold Krenshaw: (after the captain bites into a coconut donut) Now you have to eat a sugar one. Stottlemeyer: Don't want a sugar one. Monk: Then you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate. Harold: Or two coconuts and two glazed. Monk: Or he could just eat all of them. That would be easier. Harold: That's a good idea. Stottlemeyer: Or--I could do this. (Mashes the box, folds it up, and pokes a hole in the middle.) There. Now there's one donut. Monk: It's keepaway. Natalie, Natalie, stop! You're just embarrassing yourself. I'm coming in. Monk: There were fourteen shots. Stottlemeyer: Are you sure? Well, of course you're sure. How did they come? Were they evenly spaced? Monk: Bang. Bang bang. Bang. Bang bang bang bang. [etc.] Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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